When a child has a parent who suffers from addiction, they experience the dysfunction associated with addiction just as much as their parent does. While the child may be unaware of what they are experiencing at the moment, the effects of having an alcoholic parent begin to take a toll.
If you grew up in a household with a parent suffering from a substance use disorder, you may have dealt with abuse, neglect, or just general dysfunction in the household. Oftentimes, your perception of your childhood experiences will become easier to identify as dysfunctional as you grow up and experience life as an adult yourself. In other words, you may not have even noticed the abuse or neglect until you reached adulthood.
Because growing up with a parent who suffers from addiction or alcoholism can cause lasting trauma, a 12-step program was created for adult children of individuals who suffered from substance use disorders. This program is referred to as Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACOA).
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACOA) is a 12-step program designed to help individuals recover from the effects of growing up with an alcoholic parent or caretaker.
According to the ACOA organization, this program, “provides a safe, nonjudgmental environment that allows us to grieve our childhoods and conduct an honest inventory of ourselves and our family—so we may (i) identify and heal core trauma, (ii) experience freedom from shame and abandonment, and (iii) become our own loving parents.”[1]
ACOA is a program that provides a safe place for adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families to share their experiences, coping mechanisms, and support with one another throughout their healing process.
Parental addiction affects children in a variety of ways. To begin with, living with an alcoholic parent causes you to be exposed to drug and alcohol abuse at a young age. Additionally, your parent’s struggles with addiction make them incapable of providing the physical, psychological, and emotional care that you need as a child.
Oftentimes, this causes you to grow up with a higher risk of developing adolescent mental health issues, substance use disorders, and legal issues. With that being said, let’s take a look at how parental addiction may have affected you throughout the stages of your development as a child.
If you grew up with a parent who struggled with substance abuse, you were impacted by their behaviors as a young child. Parents struggling with addiction are incapable of providing basic physical, psychological, and emotional needs. You may have been ignored or neglected as a child, causing you to feel intensely lonely and isolated.
During your youth, you may have witnessed drug abuse or experienced verbal, physical, and sexual abuse at the hands of your parent. This may have caused self-harming behaviors and suicidal ideation at an extremely young age. The psychological effects of having an alcoholic parent during your youth are plentiful.
As you got older and reached your early teenage years, your parent’s behavior may have become more blatant. You might have begun to notice that your parent has not been providing you with your basic needs, leaving you feeling neglected and uncared for. Additionally, the constant chaos in your home might have caused you to develop mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, and even post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Additional effects of parental addiction during your developmental years include:
The effects of parental alcoholism continue to affect you in your adulthood. Oftentimes, this is when you begin to notice the effect that your parent’s behaviors have had on your own emotional and mental state.
The common effects of parental alcoholism in adulthood include:
If you grew up with a parent who suffered from a substance use disorder, you probably have had a hard time coping with uncomfortable situations. You may be unable to identify your feelings when you feel them or find it difficult to self-soothe. These are all common characteristics of an adult child of an alcoholic.
Additional characteristics of an ACOA include:
These characteristics can make it difficult to cope with distressing circumstances and navigate intimate relationships.
The Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families World Service Organization outlines how the ACOA program can help you recover from the lasting effects of a parent’s alcohol abuse:[2]
Regularly attending ACOA meetings can help you obtain the support of like-minded individuals while also helping you heal from the far-reaching effects of your parent’s drinking.
Michael Herbert, The Recovery Guide, has more than 30 years of experience working closely with individuals and families dealing with addiction and recovery issues. He is a seasoned Coach and can help you and your family establish long-term goals and access the tools you need for continued abstinence and recovery for the entire family. Get in touch with Michael today at 561-221-7677 to schedule an appointment.
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