Finding out that a loved one is using drugs or drinking excessively can be devastating. You want to help, but you may not automatically know how to go about it. What makes it even more challenging is that communication often breaks down in families battling substance abuse. Communicating with a loved one who has an addiction can be a long and painful process. Unlike a physical illness, the affected person does not always recognize the dangers of their illness or realize the risks of not getting treatment.
People who have worked extensively with individuals with addictions know of many effective strategies to communicate in such situations. A recovery coach, for example, can help your family communicate in a way that will lead to better outcomes for your family member who is using opioids or other drugs or drinking heavily. Making changes in the way you interact is the key to stopping substance abuse and helping a loved one get sober, while still showing them you care. Here are 7 tips on communicating with a loved one who has an addiction.
Be Loving
When you see a beloved family member waste their life on drugs or alcohol, it’s easy to feel frustration, anger, even rage. But when you’re communicating with someone who is addicted, it’s important to put your anger aside and show unconditional love and support. A person battling substance use needs to know you are in their corner, that you have their best interests at heart. That’s the only way they will agree to start treatment with a drug detox and inpatient or outpatient rehab.
Be Consistent
When you’ve got a family member who is dealing with addiction, remember that your actions communicate as much as your words. Meaning, you need to send a consistent message to an addicted person about what they need to do. For example, if your husband is drinking too much, it’s not enough to bring up his drinking problem and talk about how to detox from alcohol. You need to follow through with your actions. So, don’t talk about detox and then go on to share a bottle of wine with him at dinnertime.
Set Boundaries
While it is important to be kind and loving with a person who has an addiction, it is equally important to set boundaries. Let them know how their behavior bothers you. Tell them clearly what you and will not put up with. And don’t make empty threats – follow through with the limits you set. This is not always easy. Oftentimes, people battling an addiction are unwilling or unable to change. A recovery coach can help you set healthy boundaries and implement them in a loving way.
Remember to Listen
Communication is a two-way process. Lecturing a loved one about the dangers of their addiction can only do so much good. It’s essential that you listen as much as you talk. Allow your loved one to express their feelings and fears without interrupting or criticizing them. This will help you understand them better. And by confiding in you, your loved one will feel like a weight has been lifted off their shoulders. They will be more likely to take your advice if you lend them an ear instead of simply telling them what to do.
Be Flexible
There is no single way on how to get sober. Different strategies work for different families. You need to be absolutely firm about unacceptable behaviors, for instance, drug use or underage drinking under your roof. But you also need to be flexible about making these changes. For example, if you have a teenager or young adult who is using opioids or drinking too much alcohol, you will need to work with them and give them some autonomy and a chance at normal life. Prohibiting them from seeing their friends completely is only going to lead to tension and frustration.
Be Kind
Addiction has a great deal of stigma attached to it in our society. It is, therefore, not unusual for family members and friends to insult, shame, criticize, or reject a person who is using drugs or drinking too much. But it is essential that you avoid this approach. Always be kind and compassionate. This will show your loved one you care and make them feel supported in their recovery, increasing the chances of successful rehab.
Help Them Get Help
People who are addicted to drugs or alcohol are often ashamed of their addiction. They fear getting into trouble with the law or losing their job or being shunned by their social circle. One of the biggest things you can do is to help a loved one find the right kind help for their addiction. Offer to help your family member find information about drug rehab programs and addiction treatment facilities in your area. Go with them to appointments. Focus on being there for them and inspiring them to get better. A recovery coach can help your family access all the tools and resources you need to accomplish this.
Michael Herbert has more than 25 years of experience working closely with individuals and families. Michael is a seasoned addiction professional providing all aspects of care from interventions to continued care and beyond. Michael will help you and your family establish long-term goals and access the tools you need for lasting recovery. Get in touch with Michael today at 561-221-7677 to schedule an appointment.
