Tips for Staying Positive Through Recovery

One of the most difficult aspects of going through recovery is dealing with feelings of guilt and shame. Substance dependency can have a negative effect on self-esteem and relationships of all kinds. However stressful it may seem to conquer these emotions, it’s not impossible to accept the mistakes you’ve made while simultaneously mending bonds with friends, family, and coworkers.

Acceptance Is Key
Going through recovery generally involves six stages: grief, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. By accepting the fact that you have an addiction, it’s easier to remove feelings of guilt and shame. However, in order to go through the acceptance phase, it’s essential that you first go through the detox process so that you’ll be able to think with a clear head. While the detox period can be difficult, a doctor or nurse helps manage withdrawal symptoms that can cause anxiety and discomfort. Getting to the root of your addiction will be a confusing and emotional experience, but understanding your substance abuse completely is an important step in conquering it. Additionally, marriage and/or family counseling can help facilitate healthy conversations with your loved ones and pave the way for stronger relationships.

Counseling Can Help
Substance abuse can cause a serious rift with people around you. Those in committed relationships, including marriage, tend to feel an insurmountable strain when a partner is going through an addiction—divorce is not uncommon. This is why it’s important to consider marriage and/or family counseling. Though it’s stressful and uncomfortable, it’s important to maintaining a relationship. Interestingly enough, even loved ones have feelings of guilt or shame for not having done enough to help, so counseling can work both ways. However, if you’re in a relationship and both of you are addicts, there are special rehab groups that can help.

Tips for Letting Go
Psychologists deem guilt (which goes hand in hand with shame) a useless emotion because you can’t change the past. Rehashing the past prohibits you from living in the present and planning for the future, which is necessary to recover from your addiction. Though it may take a lot of practice, it’s helpful to replace guilty thoughts with healthier ones. Here are some tips:

• Talk yourself out of guilt: You talked yourself into feeling guilty, so you can talk yourself out of it, too.
• Become a problem solver: Focus on things you need to correct in the present without dwelling on the past.
• Don’t judge yourself: Judging yourself will only make you feel guilty and ashamed. Put your behavior/addiction into context in order to understand where you were at in your life at the time so you can move on.
• Don’t magnify the past: In other words, don’t stew in your juices. Take ownership of your behavior and move on.
• Don’t label yourself: If you believe you’re a terrible person because of your addiction, you’ll always feel that way, which will lead you to struggle with self-confidence and bring on feelings of shame. Redirect your energy so you can face your fears and your addiction.
• Prepare a personal testimony: Many clients of psychologists practice this exercise to help work through guilty feelings.
• Learn from the past: Just because you shouldn’t live in the past doesn’t mean you can learn from it.

In the beginning, staying positive during treatment may feel like an uphill battle, but remember that it’s crucial for a successful recovery. Through acceptance, counseling, and letting go, you can beat your addiction.  Remember that you’re not alone in this journey.