Regardless of your age, watching a parent struggle with addiction can be extremely emotionally draining. Not only does it make you concerned for their safety, but their addiction can also take a toll on your mental health. This is because parents greatly influence their children, through genetics as well as behavior.
According to research, 25% of kids in America grow up in a household with a parent who struggles with addiction.[1]
Oftentimes, children of addicted parents inherit the caretaker role. In other words, if your parent struggles with an addiction you may find yourself taking care of them instead of them taking care of you. This may cause you to develop an array of health, social, emotional, and behavioral issues.
Whether you are an adult or a child, watching a parent struggle with addiction is never easy. Learning about 5 ways to help an addicted parent without enabling them will help you and your parent recover.
If your parent struggles with addiction, the way it affects you will depend on whether you are an adult or a child. However, it is important to note that experiencing this as a child will cause future problems in your adult life as well.
If your parent struggled with addiction while you were a child, you might have struggled with:
If you are a child whose parent struggles with addiction, you may feel helpless, ashamed, or even guilty. It is important to remember that your parent’s addiction is never your fault.
When your parent struggles with addiction, you probably feel a desire to help them recover. While you cannot force them to stop using drugs, there are a few things you can do to push them in the right direction.
If you are a child who is attempting to help your parent with addiction, you can:
While you can do a few simple things to help your addicted parent, the most important thing is that you ensure that you are coping healthily. You must develop a support system that can help you when your parent is unable to care for you due to their substance abuse. Additionally, there are support groups for children of addicted or alcoholic parents you can attend with a trusted adult or family member.
Children are often powerless over a parent’s addiction, but a teenager or young adult can take practical steps to help an addicted parent. Five important steps to take are:
The first step you should take as an adult is to learn about addiction and what causes your parent’s behaviors. Doing so will allow you to better understand why they cannot seem to “pull it together” and enable you to learn the “do’s and dont’s” of helping an addict.
When your parent is addicted to a substance, it can be easy to become their enabler–especially if your parent has struggled with addiction since your childhood. However, doing so will only harm you and allow them to continue their substance abuse without facing consequences that could push them to get sober.
Examples of healthy boundaries include:
It is extremely important for you to practice self-care while your parent is going through addiction. While your parent is struggling, you are also feeling the effects of their substance abuse and consequential behaviors. Because of this, attending therapy, self-help groups, or finding a strong support system to lean on is of the utmost importance.
If your parent is refusing to attend addiction treatment and you are concerned about their safety, you might consider hosting an intervention. Interventions are family meetings facilitated by a trained professional with the goal of getting the addicted individual to accept help. If your parent agrees to treatment, the drug and alcohol interventionist will have a treatment program set up for them in advance to ensure that they do not change their mind.
Lastly, many states in America have involuntary commitment laws. If your parent is a danger to themselves or others due to their substance abuse, you can work with the court system in your state to have them involuntarily committed to an addiction rehab program. This is a great option if your addicted parent is at risk of overdosing on drugs or alcohol or at risk of any other life-threatening condition due to their substance abuse.
Michael Herbert, The Recovery Guide, has more than 30 years of experience working closely with individuals and families dealing with addiction and recovery issues. He is a seasoned Coach and can help you and your family establish long-term goals and access the tools you need for continued abstinence and recovery for the entire family. Get in touch with Michael today at 561-221-7677 to schedule an appointment
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