If you are a parent, you probably know that a discussion about drugs with your kids can be uncomfortable. However, talking to your kids about drugs is necessary for every parent and every child’s development. While addiction often runs in families, children of non-addicts can still develop a substance use disorder, too. And, one of the best ways to prevent adolescent or teen drug use is to talk to your kids about substance abuse and addiction.
According to a study conducted by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration, “In 2011, the majority of substance abuse treatment admissions aged 18 to 30 with the known age of initiation information (74.0 percent) began substance use at the age of 17 or younger; 10.2 percent initiated use at the age of 11 or younger.”[1]
While this type of discussion can be difficult and uncomfortable, here are 10 tips to keep in mind while you talk to your kids about drugs.
While you want to protect your child from learning about the dark sides of life, it is important to start the conversation about drugs early. With the popularity of drugs in the media, kids are already being exposed to substance abuse at a young age.
You need to be their main source of information about drugs, rather than allowing it to come from the internet, television, or their friends at school. If you are wondering what age is appropriate to start these conversations, second or third grade is generally recommended. Oftentimes, by fifth or sixth-grade kids already know about drugs; and some may even start experimenting.
You should be talking to your child about drugs multiple times over the years. The conversation you have with an 8-year-old should look very different than a discussion with a 16-year-old.
Make sure that you are using language that is easy to understand for your child’s age. Additionally, as your child gets older, you should be using examples and explanations relevant to their age.
Oftentimes, our kids know more than we think they do. When talking with your kid about drugs, it’s best to get a sense of what they have heard from kids at school or online. This will help you understand what kind of information they need to hear.
At some point in your child’s life, either they or their friends will experiment with drugs or alcohol. It’s important to set up a safety plan just in case.
Give your child an “out” or an escape plan in case their friends (or they) drink alcohol at a sleepover. Have a secret code they can text you in case they need a ride home or help with escaping from a peer pressure situation.
Your child should understand the consequences of drug and alcohol use. It is important not to come off as militant or punitive, however, you should set clear and fair boundaries in case your child does try alcohol or drugs.
Even if your child seems completely determined to remain abstinent, you should check in with them periodically. Oftentimes, kids are afraid to admit when they have broken a rule. Checking in with them provides them with an easy way to open up to you about how they are feeling regarding drugs and drug abuse.
It is vital to keep an open and honest relationship with your child. Being overly domineering will not get you anywhere, as this will only make your child afraid to admit they have made a mistake.
Make it clear that if they make a mistake, your feelings for them will not change. Uphold any boundaries you have set, but ensure that your child feels like they can come to you with anything.
If your child admits to experimenting with drugs, it’s important to find out why.
Was it peer pressure? Were they trying to relieve stress? Finding out why they tried drugs or alcohol can help you prevent it from developing into adolescent addiction.
If your child has begun using drugs and alcohol, early intervention is key. Even if they are just experimenting, soliciting help from a professional is important. Substance abuse counselors and even normal child psychologists can provide your child with the prevention tools and coping mechanisms they need to avoid becoming addicted to substances.
Lastly, you need to be sober if you are preaching abstinence to your children. If your child watches you drink alcohol or abuse drugs while you tell them to abstain, you will send them mixed signals.
This is especially important for parents in recovery, as watching a parent struggle with addiction often causes children to develop substance use disorders later in life. By being sure to talk to your kids about drugs while you lead by example, you can prevent your child from abusing dangerous substances.
Michael Herbert, The Recovery Guide, has more than 30 years of experience working closely with individuals and families dealing with addiction and recovery issues. He is a seasoned Coach and can help you and your family establish long-term goals and access the tools you need for continued abstinence and recovery for the entire family. Get in touch with Michael today at 561-221-7677 to schedule an appointment.
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